“They’re calling these ‘events.’ I’m calling this (expletive) Tuesday afternoon.”

James Gordon of DeLand, Fla., regarding the state’s Florida Man Games that took place this weekend. Gordon won the first event of the weekend by eating a plateful of barbecue pork and sausage faster than the nearest competitor. Spectators paid $45 per ticket or more to attend the games at Francis Field in St. Augustine. (Associated Press — Feb. 24, 2024)