Texas State Senator Proposes Satirical Masturbation Regulations for Men

by | March 13, 2017

By Brooke A. Lewis

A bill filed late last week by a Houston Democrat to convey the frustration women feel about having their health care and family planning decisions scrutinized would penalize men for "unregulated masturbatory emissions."

The satirical House Bill 4260 would encourage men to remain "fully abstinent" and allow only the "occasional masturbatory emissions inside health care and medical facilities," which are described in the legislation as the best way to ensure men's health.

State Rep. Jessica Farrar, D-Houston, said she created the bill after feeling fed up with the various legislative bills introduced by men addressing women's health care.

"A lot of people find the bill funny," Farrar said in a phone interview. "What's not funny are the obstacles that Texas women face every day, that were placed there by legislatures making it very difficult for them to access health care."

A man would face a $100 penalty for each emission made outside of a vagina or medical facility. Such an emission would be considered "an act against an unborn child, and failing to preserve the sanctity of life," according to the legislation. The money would benefit children in the care of the Department of Family and Protective Services.

A registry would be created of nonprofit organizations and hospitals that provide "fully-abstinent encouragement counseling, supervising physicians for masturbatory emissions, and storage for the semen."

Farrar is serving her 11th term as state representative for District 148. She works on issues that include women's health, sexual assault, reproductive rights, discrimination, juvenile justice and domestic violence.

She spoke out last week against the fetal remains bill, which would require hospitals to bury or cremate fetal remains, tweeting "The fetal remains bill imposes state-sponsored moral beliefs on women, affecting their ability to make personal decisions with their doctor."

Her latest bill also seeks to provide men with a safe and healthy environment during vasectomies, Viagra uses and colonoscopies by creating "A Man's Right to Know" booklet that should "exactly follow the rules and procedures of the informational booklet "A Woman's Right To Know," required to be given of women terminating pregnancies.

During the consultation, the physician would verbally review the booklet with men and would be required to "administer a medically-unnecessary digital rectal exam and magnetic resonance imagining of the rectum," according to the bill.

Farrar said she included this part of the bill to mimic the trans-vaginal ultrasound woman have when they are seeking an abortion.

She also described the doctor reading the "A Woman's Right To Know" pamphlet as a "guilt mechanism."

"It's to show how invasive this medically unnecessary procedure is," she said.

(c)2017 the Houston Chronicle