Well, here's one I bet you haven't heard before.

A Missouri House committee has issued a report linking present-day illegal immigration rates with liberal social welfare policy and -- get this -- abortion:

"The lack of a traditional work ethic, combined with the effects of 30 years of abortion and expanding liberal social welfare policies have produced a shortage of workers and a lack of incentive for those who can work," the report said. "Today's growing affinity for government dependency has created a class of potential employees who are not eager to work."

The argument goes, I think, like this: Legalized abortions have reduced this country's lower-class population, and that population has become lazy because of welfare programs. So now we're having trouble filling low-class jobs. And the availability of those jobs is luring more illegal immigrants.

The report is from the Republican-controlled House Special Committee on Immigration Reform. Democrats on the committee have refused to sign the report, calling its claims "silly" and "inappropriate."

Next up, the committee explains why affirmative action programs have caused higher gas prices.